Spencer's Instincts
by Ladybrooklynn
Summary: Spencer's body works on instinct. He doesn't notice his lungs breathing or his heart beating... Until he gets closer to Derek, and the pace of his body changes. Rating is for later chapters ;)
1. One

One

The human body breathes on instinct. The heart beats, the blood flows, and the lungs breathe. No one has to tell these body parts to move, and no one has to tell them when to move. The heart just beats. It's instinct. Because of that beating, the blood just flows. It's all instinct. The lungs, they breathe. They breathe on instinct. The human body just breathes on instinct. However, that wasn't the case right now. Right now, Spencer was telling himself to breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Breathe.

Staring at a word for too long can make the spelling look odd and incorrect. The letters standing next to each other just look misplaced and inappropriated. As Spencer was thinking of the word 'breathe' so much that the pronounciation no longer sounded correct, he realized that he was no longer thinking about breathing. Finally, his body had taken back control from his mind. It was instinct. His body was breathing.

Thankfully, Morgan had gone back to his office just as Spencer made this realization and was subsequently forced to begin his inhale, exhale mantra again. Spencer had known Morgan for years, and yet this feeling had never rushed over him before now. This feeling was unusual for Spencer, and the genius racked his brain for what word to call it. It seemed to be nerves. 'Nervous,' Spencer thought breifly, but he knew that one all too well. Any time he met new people, Spencer felt nervous. When he rambled on and on about existentialists in a classroom full of college students, he felt nervous. 'No, maybe fear?' This thought was also shot down quickly because Spencer knew fear. When he found out that Garcia had been shot, he felt fear. When Will had run into a bank mid-robbery and JJ began yelling for him to come back, he felt fear. When Tobias Hankel had kidnapped him, he felt fear. This wasn't fear. What was this?

"Pretty boy," Morgan yelled as he walked back down the stairs and into the bullpen area.

"Um, yeah?" he replied, trying to be as calm as he could.

"We're all heading to the bar, you in?"

"Uh, no. No, I dont think so. Thanks for the invite though." Again, Spencer was trying to control his breathing. He didn't want to give himself away, at least not before he even knew what exactly that would mean in this situation.

"Come on, man. I'm driving so you can let loose. We all need it after this case." Morgan flashed his trademark smile as he spoke, and before Spencer could even think he blurted out a meek agreeance. If only he hadn't been so focused on his breathing, he may have been able to think about his words before he spoke them. Regardless, he had a now made a committement that Garcia, who had overheard, would never allow him to break.

The tech-savy blonde had immediately screamed with joy, and rushed him into a group hug with Morgan. As his unusual breathing began again, he noticed his heart had also started to beat at an untimely pace. Although, this type of human contact was still a little foreign to Spencer, he had no time to take in the experience and analyze it because he was caught offguard, yet again, by his body's sudden lack of instinct. Breathe. Inhale, exhale. Slow down. Spencer now had to add an order to his heart along with his list of commands for his lungs. Slow down, please. Please, slow down. Just breathe.

As the members of his first three-way-hug disappaited, his body began acting on instinct again. His lungs began breathing as usual, and his heart steadied its pace. His mind ran quickly, which is also quite typical for him. As his body auto-piloted through cleaning up his desk, packing his messanger bag, and walking toward the elevator, Spencer's thoughts ran wild. He knew that he had to figure out what was going on with him, and that he needed to figure it out before he got to the bar with his team. A group of profilers who have know him for ten years would certainly catch his behavior. They were trained to notice sublties like changes in breathing, and they'd notice his without a doubt.

"What's going on inside that head tonight, Reid?" Morgan said as the elevator doors closed. He could tell that his friend was deep in thought. Luckily Garcia chimed in before Spencer had to respond.

"You're forcing my sweet and innocent Dr. Reid into a a breeding ground of bad decisions and debauchery, what do you think is going on his head?" She turned to Spencer and wrapped her arm through his. "Don't be nervous, sugar. No one expects you to get down like my chocolate adonus over here."

As Morgan and Garcia bantered back and forth in their lovingly silly manner, Spencer's mind was now filled with a new thought. He was going to a bar. And how exactly did Morgan 'get down'? His breathing started acting up again. His heart started racing. This must be nerves. He was nervous about the bar.

While Garcia jumped into Kevin's car with JJ and Hotch, Morgan told Reid to ride with him.

"Everyone digs Kevin's classic, but they'll all be begging me for a ride when the night's over. It never fails."

"Oh, yeah. It is a nice car. Yours is as well, though. I, um, I didn't mean to imply that it wasn't. I, uh, did you know that classic cars-"

"Reid, chill." Morgan laughed. "We can't have you giving lectures tonight. When we see some honies, you gotta play it cool. No facts, no stats. You can do that, right?"

"Statistics kind of make me feel safe. I'm not sure if I'd even know how to have a conversation without facts."

"You just said you weren't sure? I never thought I'd hear those words from you." Morgan said jokingly. "But you gotta tone it down just a bit, Reid. Don't think so much. Just let loose." Spencer could feel heat in his cheeks. His heart was starting to race again. Nervousness, embarrasment, and this strange feeling he still couldn't place were all happening at once, and it was too much for Spencer to take in.

"It's ok, Pretty Boy," Morgan could see that he had embarrassed Spencer. He thought that maybe he'd come off more harshly than he intended. Morgan really liked Spencer. He considered him to be one of his best friends. That's why he wanted to help Spencer. He wanted to show the younger agent a more fun side of life, a more social side, a side that might bring Spencer out of his shell a little. "I'll be right there with you. There's no need to be nervous." He reached his hand across the car and tapped Spencer's chest lightly.

Spencer's breathing had gone from irratic to non-existant. As he looked down at Morgan's hand on his body, his lungs stopped moving completely. Even though he had repeated his mantra in his head up until the point of physical contact, the simple and friendly touch had shut down every thought in his head. His body had reacted to Morgan in a way that it never had before. His lungs stopped moving. His mind was clear. He was sure his heart was next to stop at any moment. He watched the hand move back to its starting place as quickly as it had left it. Although the hand was gone, Spencer couldn't move his head or his eyes away from the spot on his body where it had been. He findly regained enough control to look up and over at Morgan. Morgan turned his head so that his eyes caught Spencer's, and, in that moment, a realization washed over the genius. This new feeling, this thing he couldn't name, this emotion that seemed unlike anything he had ever experienced, this new feeling had finally been given definition. It wasn't the bar making him nervous. It wasn't his inexperience with women that had embarrassed him. It was Morgan.


	2. Two

Two

They pulled into the bar parking lot just in time. Spencer realized that Morgan was the source of this strange feeling he'd been trying to analyze and interpret all day. Morgan sitting in the bullpen was the reason he had to remind himself to breathe. It was Morgan's presence in the hug with Garcia that caused his heart to beat out of his chest. It was the fact that Morgan knew just how socially awkward he was that caused him to blush. He felt something for Morgan. Something which, now that he thought about it, was similar to the feeling Lila Archer had given him when she kissed him. Similar, but not the same. While Lila's kiss, being Spencer's first ever, had filled him with excitement, passion, and pleasure, it felt as insignificant as a stranger bumping into him on the street when compared to the momentary touch of Derek Morgan.

Now, Spencer wasn't sure what to do. If the team would notice the tiniest indiscrepancy in his breathing, they would certainly notice his change in behavior around Morgan. A change that he couldn't control now that his feelings seemed more clear. He had to go home. It was time to bail. But, how?

"Come on, sweetcheeks," Garcia said. "The night's not getting any younger, and I am more than ready to take advantage of that bar. Especially knowing that my gorgeous greek god of a man is the one resposible for driving me home and keeping me safe." She winked at Morgan.

"You just want to take advantage of that bar in the hopes that I'll take advantage of you, baby girl." Morgan retorted as he winked back playfully.

Spencer felt like yet another body part was failing him- his legs. Morgan's wink mixed with his smile made Spencer's knees weak. Being aware of this attraction to the older man made everything that was appealing about Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan obvious and undeniable.

Spencer watched Morgan all night. He watched him walk to the bar. He noticed that even though Morgan's strides were wide and dominant, he walked with careless ease. He watched him dance. Spencer watched the way Morgan's hips swayed. He noticed how they entranced the ladies dancing near him, and he wondered what those hips would feel like against his own. When Morgan spoke tonight, it was different than any other time he had ever spoken because, tonight, Spencer was listening to him with different ears. Tonight, Spencer was noticing how the roughness in his voice blended with a smooth, subtle softness. He noticed the way in which the words flowed from his lips effortlessly. Morgan was so comfortable with everyone around him, and Spencer was no longer jealous of this fact. Now, Spencer admired it. It was appealing to Spencer. Everything Morgan had done in that bar was appealing to Spencer. He wondered why he hadn't seen Morgan in this light until now.


	3. Three

Three

No one questioned Spencer's silence. Not only were they too busy enjoying the fact that Morgan and Kevin were the only ones who needed to monitor their alcohol intake, but they also knew that their genius wasn't the most outgoing person of the group. Spencer was shy and awkward and didn't do well in large crowds. Everyone assumed he'd stay locked away inside his mind. This wasn't for a lack of trying on the part of Garcia who encouraged Spencer to dance at the beginning of every single song, and tried to get him to loosen up by having a few shots.

While his research on the subject of alcohol had explained that a lot of people will use the substance to temporarirly escape reality, Spencer decided that he would test this hypothesis. His experiment would be to count drinks. How many drinks would take his mind off of Morgan? How many drinks would take his eyes off of Morgan? How many drinks would allow him to breathe reguarly when Morgan sat at the table next to him?

It only took two. Two beers, and Spencer was a little more than tipsy. Garcia and JJ insisted that he have another while Hotch, forever the father figure, worried about Spencer's lack of experience with alcohol. Still, they all relaxed, let loose, and enjoyed their time away from their job together. But by the time Morgan had come back from the dance floor, the only two people sitting at the table were drunken geniuses- one genius of technology and one genius of everything else.

"You're a fox, Derek Morgan."

"And you're drunk, Penelope Garcia."

Spencer started to laugh. His laugh drew Morgan's attention away from his baby girl, and onto Spencer. More specifically, to Spencer's mouth. It had taken Morgan nine and a half years to notice his teammate's mouth, and for the last six months, he had been wondering why he was so drawn to it. Spencer could ramble on for hours about any subject- mathematics, philosophy, chemistry, literature, history. His rants usually bored Morgan. But one not-so-special day, when Spencer started babbling on about some episode of Dr. Who, Morgan looked at the genius' mouth as it formed countless words per minute. Morgan had become fascinated with that mouth. He knew he had to break out of this facination before it became a full-blown obsession. That's when Morgan started dating his neighbor. He needed a distraction, although he'd never admit that that's what it was. Today was different though. Spencer started talking about some other TV series that Morgan had never heard of, and yet again, he'd become focused on Spencer's mouth. He decided not to fight it anymore. That's why he'd been sitting so close to Spencer today in the bullpen area, and that's why he really invited Spencer tonight. However, when he got to the bar, all he could see was women. He'd been distracted again. Now, he found himself where he intended to start the night- across from Spencer. He was watching his mouth.

"Wait," Morgan said. "Reid, are you drunk too?"

"I can't really answer that question accurately," Spencer slurred. "I've never been drunk before. I suppose the only way to really test the theory that I am, in fact, drunk right now would be to drink even more guarenteeing my drunken state. Then, we'll compare my level of inebriation right now to my level after a few more of these." He held his empty glass up and almost dropped it.

"Alright, Pretty Boy, I think you've had enough of those, actually." Morgan laughed. He watched Spencer as he did. Even drunk, Spencer's brain was thinking of theories and tests. It made Morgan smile because it was just so very Spencer. This thought allowed Morgan to explore the possibilities of why he'd been so drawn into Spencer's mouth. Maybe it was more than just that. Maybe the attraction was to something beyond just the physical realm.

"How about I get you two lushes home?"

Morgan lead Garcia and Spencer out of the bar, careful not to allow either of the stumbling agents to completely fall over. Garcia pleaded to have some music for the drive. When Morgan obliged, he allowed his drunken friend to sing the entire way to her apartment. This also allowed Spencer to avoid conversation with Morgan, which allowed his breathing to remain somewhat stable. When they arrived at Garcia's apartment, the techie stumbled out of the car and blew the genius a silly kiss. Spencer waited in the car while Morgan made sure his friend made it to her bed safely. He wondered if he really was drunk. He wondered if he could have the typical drunken experience he'd read about. He knew his shot was gone tonight because the only person he'd be able to hit on from here to his home was Morgan, the ladies' man. Then he laughed at himself for thinking he'd actually be able hit on someone.

"What's so funny, Reid?" Morgan had walked up to the car without Spencer even realizing. "Let me in on the joke."

"It's, um, it's nothing." Spencer said, still smiling.

"It's not nothing, you can't even keep a straight face. I'd love to know what type of thoughts fly through a drunk Dr. Reid's brain." He started the car and began driving toward Spencer's apartment building.

"I, uh, I was just thinking that, although I've read about drunken experiences, and I've heard you and Prentiss talk about them quite a bit over the years, I've never, um, I've never actually had one."

"You know, I wanna say that shocks me, but it really doesn't. That's why I wanted to bring you out tonight, kid. I was hoping you might see a different side of life or something. Maybe you could have some crazy drunk experience."

"I'm not like you, Morgan." Spencer said shyly. "I can't just walk up to people I dont know and start talking to them, and even if I could, I don't think I'd say anything that would keep their interest." He laughed. "Can you imagine me hitting on someone?"

Morgan chuckled as well. "Kid, I'm shocked you even know what that phrase means."

The alcohol allowed Spencer's emotions full range of motion, and he went from finding his social ineptitude funny to now being hurt by it. Morgan could tell that he'd struck a nerve and, again, didn't mean to be too harsh on the younger man.

"Pretty Boy," he began as the car stopped outside Spencer's home.

"Why do you call me that?" Spencer asked solemly.

"What?"

"Why do you call me that?"

Spencer looked up at Morgan like a lost puppy. He was vulnerable, confused, and feeling very uneasy. Sure, it could have been the booze, but Spencer worried that it was Morgan. Morgan, who had been giving him all these feelings. Morgan, who made it hard for him to breathe. Morgan, who gave his heart palpitations. Morgan, who was so effortlessly cool. Morgan, who had the muscle tone of a Greek god. Morgan, who was sitting so close to him in this car.

"Why don't I just help you up to bed, kid?"

Morgan's reply hurt Spencer. Spencer wanted an answer, a very specific one. He'd played this out in his head- Morgan would say it's because he finds him attractive. Morgan would compliment him. Morgan would say something that would allow his breathing to normalize. That wasn't the reality of it.

Hurt, Spencer tried to protest his escort, but Morgan insisted. "You and Garcia made me DD, remember? That means I'm responsible for you until you're in your bed for the night."

They made the short walk in silence. When they reached Spencer's door, he thanked Morgan who just shook his head.

"My job isn't done until you're in your bed." he repeated.

Spencer shuffled with his keys, trying to unlock the door. He told himself it was the beer, but he feared that it was Morgan. Everything that had been happening to him today was because of Morgan. He felt his first attraction to Morgan. He went to a bar for the first time with Morgan. He had gotten drunk for the first time with Morgan. He wanted more firsts. He thought about first kisses, first touches. He wondered what it would feel like to have another person's hands trail along his skin. He wondered what it would feel like if those hands belonged to Morgan. Just as his mind was wondering into much more intimate firsts, his keys turned the lock of his door and it swung open.

"Ok, I'm in." Spencer turned to look at Morgan and tell him good night.

The older man wrapped his arm around Spencer's shoulders and walked through the door. He looked around at the antique furniture and old books and couldn't help but smile. He never wondered what Spencer's apartment looked like, but if he had, this would've been it. It was orderly and calm. It was intelligent. It was warm and inviting. Just like Spencer.

Morgan looked over to his best friend who was nervously looking around the room. He could tell that his arm made the genius uncomfortable, so he reluctantly removed it.

"I just didn't want you to fall," Morgan explained.

But Spencer had fallen. He'd fallen for Morgan.


	4. Four

Four

"I, um, I can handle it from here, Morgan," Spencer said as he tried standing without swaying. "Thanks."

"You know, Pretty Boy, I never thought I'd see you stumbling around your apartment drunk." Although Spencer was leaning toward the side of the couch, resting his hand on its arm, the bookcase directly behind him made Morgan nervous; He didn't want to see the younger man fall into it and knock it over.

"I'm really, I'm not that drunk. I'm fine." Spencer lied. He knew his was inebriated. He knew that he was struggling to even stand on his own. Even worse, he knew that he was not fine. He was attracted to his best friend and colleague. He was attracted to another man.

"You're not fine, Reid."

This reply made Spencer extremely nervous. Although Morgan was only referring to his intoxicated state, Spencer thought that he had somehow been found out. He thought that Morgan had figured out his feelings. He was nervous and scared. His breathing hitched again. His heart raced. He was sure that Morgan had figured him out.

"I, I'm fine."

Morgan drew closer to him. He'd noticed the change in Spencer's breathing; He was no longer breathing through his nose. His body had turned off, as it had been doing all day, and Spencer also noticed that he hadn't been breathing, yet again. His lungs were desperate for oxygen, so he parted his lips in an effort to catch his breath. Spencer was breathing through his mouth, and Morgan, also repeating the day's events, couldn't take his eyes off of it. He watched Spencer's chest rise and fall as his lips remained parted. They were so inviting. Morgan couldn't help but stare at them as he continued to step closer to his friend without even realizing it. Morgan's body was doing what it had caused Spencer's body to stop doing all day- it was acting on instinct. Morgan didn't have to think about walking toward Spencer. Morgan didn't have to tell himself to. Morgan didn't even have to acknolwedge the fact that he wanted to. His body simply acted on instinct.

As the older man approached him, Spencer's breathing became even more erratic. He was sure that his heart would beat out of his chest. He could smell Morgan's cologne. He could feel the air that escaped from Morgan's lips on his skin.

Morgan lifted his hand up to Spencer's face and rested its palm on his jaw as he brushed his thumb along Spencer's lower lip. Spencer naturally drew his head back at the idea of any touch, and it was stopped by the bookshelf. He had nowhere to go. With furrowed brows, he gazed at his friend with uncertainy, excitement, and fear. He had no idea what this gesture meant.

He felt safe in thinking that Morgan wasn't going to rough him up. As a child prodigy in a public school in Las Vegas, Spencer knew every action that would lead to a clobbering. Aside from that, this act seemed more friendly to Spencer than aggressive. He decided to think about his friendships. While he really only had his teammates as friends, none of them had ever touched him or each other in this way. Even Garcia, with her loving personality and undoubtably close friendship with Morgan, had never touched anyone like this. At least not where Spencer could see. This arroused another thought in Spencer's mind- not where he could see. Could this be an act of intimacy? Spencer had no real experience with human intimacy aside from his kiss with Lila, and she didn't touch his face before she kissed him. He'd also never read a description of this act in any of his research on human sexuality. Then again, the research was focused on the brain and what happened to it during intercourse; There was no mention of what happened before it or what led up to it. Spencer didn't know what exactly, but he imagined there was some type of closeness that occured before the act of physical, penetrating love. And, right now, Morgan was defintiely close to him. The idea that Morgan may be trying to provide the pair with intimacy made Spencer feel as though he'd pass out, and it brought him back from his everwandering mind to Morgan, here in his home, touching his lips.

"M-Morgan," Spencer shyly stuttered.

"It's ok, Pretty Boy," Morgan replied without losing a bit of confidence or nonchalance. "I've got you."

Morgan's voice was almost a whisper. While it remained assertive, it was sultry and seductive. It caused Spencer's erratic breathing to worsen, his heart to rush, and his blood to flow. Instinctively, Spencer bit his lip in nervousness which sent Morgan over the edge and, without warning, Morgan pushed his lips onto Spencer's.


	5. Five

Five

Spencer was shocked. His body couldn't react, his instincts completely gone as he just stood there, pinned between his bookshelf and Derek Morgan's lips. He thought for sure that he was dreaming. He kept his lips on Morgan's, but allowed his eyes to wander around the room, searching for signs of delusion. He found none. His furniture was positioned properly, his rooms were aligned in the correct lay out of the apartment. His table was a mess of case files and coffee cups. He gained enough control of his of body to move his hand, allowing his fingers to run along the books in the shelf behind him. They felt real. Morgan's lips felt real, too. This was real. And Spencer was shocked.

The acceptance of the fact that what was occuring between he and Morgan was actually happening put Spencer into a panic. He couldn't focus on Morgan's lips, although he desperately wanted to. He had to focus on his own body, instead of Morgan's, and do the job his instincts were meant to do. Spencer closed his eyes and began his mantra. He had to tell himself to breathe, especially now, because Morgan was close enough to feel the lack of air moving from his nose. He had to tell his heart to slow down, especially now, because Morgan was close enough to feel its hurried throbs.

Morgan didn't feel anything except Spencer's lips- Spencer's immobile, unmoving, motionless lips. He assumed that he caught Spencer offguard. He knew that he'd caught himself offguard. He also knew how Spencer handled this state of being- the same way he handled anything and everything that he had seen, read, or happened to him. He knew that Spencer would analyze it. Spencer would interpret each and every movement. Spencer would make conjectures about the meaning of these movements. Spencer would develop theories on how to react to the conclusions he'd made about the meaning. Morgan knew exactly what was going on inside of Spencer's brain which is why he refused to pull his lips away from Spencer's. Instead, he decided to bring the genius out of his mind and into the physical realm.

Morgan's hand moved gently from Spencer's jaw, caressing his cheek lightly as it brushed by, stopping in Spencer's hair. He kept his palm near Spencer's neck as his fingers, now lost in an untamed jungle of curls, traced circles along Spencer's skin. While this massage elicited a slight moan from Spencer's throat, it also caused his hair to become wrapped around Morgan's fingers- this was Morgan's goal. He began to close his hand, drawing Spencer's hair along with his fingers as they moved slowly into his palm. Now that Morgan had a fist full of Spencer's hair, it was time to bring him back from his overly critical mind. With a sudden but deliberate tug, Morgan moved his fist toward the floor causing Spencer's head to tilt backward slighty.

Shocked by Morgan for the second time tonight, Spencer inhaled roughly as his eyes popped open. They were met by Morgan's as he pulled his lips away from Spencer's.

"If I'm putting myself out there, you can't just leave me hangin', Pretty Boy." he said softly, his voice dripping with temptation and allure. "Let's get you outta that mind of yours."

Spencer just stared at Morgan, unsure of what he should do. Although hair pulling had always been associated with bullies in his mind, Spencer enjoyed the way the dominance of the tug blended with the softness of Morgan's kiss to create something that he felt beyond his head or his lips. As he tried to keep his thoughts straight, they all seemed to completely escape him, and his mind became very clear. It no longer needed to talk to him, and it no longer needed to talk to his body. His instincts had come back as quickly as they'd left. His lungs breathed. His heart beat. His blood flowed. His arms raised. His hands, which had found Morgan's face, pulled the older man back toward him. Spencer tilted his head as he moved it closer to his colleague. He parted his lips slightly as they collided with Morgan's. Spencer was kissing Derek Morgan, and Derek Morgan was kissing Spencer back.


	6. Six

Six

Just as Morgan had pulled Spencer from his thoughts, Spencer had reciprocated the favor and allowed Morgan freedom from his own. Morgan no longer had to wonder what it would feel like to kiss Spencer. He didn't have to think about Spencer's thoughts as he placed his hand on Spencer's face. He didn't have to consider Spencer's reaction to his kiss. He had gotten the answers he needed. This second kiss, more passionate and commanding, was Spencer's silent approval of their first, and it gave Morgan's body permission to run purely on instinct.

Morgan moved one hand back to Spencer's hair as the pair became further enveloped in each other and their kiss. Knowing he would have to lead his friend through this occasion, Morgan parted his lips further and Spencer followed suit. Spencer could feel Morgan's tongue trace his lips before it crossed their barrier into his mouth. Spencer tried to mimick the way Morgan flicked his tongue. Although he felt like he was failing in this attempt, Morgan disagreed. Feeling Spencer's tongue massage his own filled Morgan with more desire and lust than he'd ever experienced in his life.

Morgan's free hand ran down Spencer's side while the other played with his curls. Spencer moaned slightly as his hands moved from Morgan's face to his chest. They wandered over his abs and landed on his jeans. Holding onto the belt loops, Spencer wished he knew how to proceed. He wished he knew exactly how to touch Morgan and exactly where. He wished he knew how to take Morgan's clothes off and he imagined what Morgan's shirtless chest would feel like on his fingertips. While this new touch of Morgan's jeans filled Spencer with fantasy, it prompted Morgan into action. He pushed Spencer against the bookcase behind him which caused a few books to fall onto the ground. Completely enveloped in the prospect of what may happen between them, neither of the men noticed the falling books. Spencer could only see Morgan's lips. Morgan could only hear Spencer's breathing. Nothing outside of each other's embrace seemed to exist.

Spencer's hands moved up Morgan's body and found rest on his shoulders. He desperately held onto the older man as he filled him with another new emotion- lust. Spencer wanted Morgan. He wanted his lips and his fingertips. He wanted wanted to touch him and to be touched by him. Spencer didn't want to let go. But Morgan pulled his lips away from Spencer's. Though Spencer was saddened by the loss of Morgan's lips on his own, he became even more excited when they found a new resting place. Morgan placed his lips on Spencer's jawline and trailed kisses along it. He ran his tongue down his neck, stopping only to nibble Spencer's soft skin lightly, as he untied the genius' tie.

Spencer had never experienced such a thing before. The softness of Morgan's lips, the wet sensation of his tongue as it peaked out sporatically amongst the faint, teasing kisses. He tightened his grip on Morgan's shirt and began breathing heavily, though he wasn't very concerned with trying to regulate it this time.

Everything about Spencer in that moment- his heavy breathing, his needy seize of Morgan's shirt, the dulcet moans that would escape his lips- became overwhelming to Morgan. Morgan had to fight the desire inside him that was begging to rip Spencer's clothes off, throw him on the ground, and take comfort in his body. Knowing that Spencer would need to be handled with care through this new experience, Morgan threw the tie to the side and slowly began unbottoning Spencer's shirt. His lips followed his fingers and he'd kiss Spencer's chest wherever the opening shirt would reveal new, bare skin. When he had gotten down to Spencer's pants, he ran his tongue along Spencer's skin just above them. He started kissing Spencer's body again, following his originial path backward- he started at Spencer's hip bones. He moved his lips to Spencer's stomach, then his chest, his neck, his jaw, his lips. Deep into another kiss, Morgan pushed Spencer's shirt off of his shoulders and it fell to the floor among the books.

Spencer's slender frame was draped in smooth ivory skin, and while Morgan loved the appeal of it's appearance, he was much more excited by its sensitivity. The way that Spencer would gasp and tremble at a brief kiss or fleeting touch was driving Morgan crazy. He wanted to be patient. He wanted Spencer to feel completely safe and comfortable. But he knew that the overwhelming experience of Spencer- his pouty lips, his sensual moans, his untouched skin, and the innocence of his body- wouldn't allow him to continue his slow pace much longer.

While Spencer seemed to be filled with desire, Morgan needed to know that it was Spencer lusting after him and not the alcohol. He hoped that the shock of his intial kiss had sobered Spencer up. He prayed that Spencer had regained complete control over his mind and that his ability to make decisions was no longer influenced by the night's earlier festivities. While he hoped and prayed, he accepted the fact that he couldn't continue without knowing. He couldn't guess. He couldn't assume. He couldn't take advantage of someone he'd spent ten years protecting. He had to know. So, reluctantly, between kisses, Morgan asked, "Reid, how drunk are you right now?"


	7. Seven

Seven

Holding onto Morgan's shirt and pulling him in even closer, Spencer breathed, "I'm not," as he continued to kiss him passionately. Morgan considered pressing the issue, but instead he quickly profiled Spencer and his body language- no more stumbling, no more slurring words. Spencer was more precise in his movements and much more deliberate. He held Morgan tightly. He pushed his lips into Morgan's with fierce conviction. He commanded Morgan's attention and, now that Morgan had gotten his answer, nothing was going to stop him from giving it to Spencer.

He trailed his fingers down Spencer's side with one hand and held his chin in the other. Between heavy breaths and heated kisses, Morgan whispered, "Bedroom."

Unable to walk away from Morgan, Spencer shifted his eyes and looked at the door immediately next to the bookshelf. With his hands on Spencer's waist, Morgan lead him into the room. He continued kissing Spencer lustfully as he took each step further into the bedroom of Dr. Spencer Reid. The younger man, taking backward steps, was too lost in Morgan's mouth to realize that he had stopped and that his calves were pressing against the edge of his bed.

Spencer's hands never left Morgan's shoulders. While their lips melded together, he kept his fists full of Morgan's shirt, holding onto him tightly in desperation. Morgan drew back, tempting Spencer's lips to chase him. When Spencer pushed his lower lip back into Morgan, he drew it into his lips and bit down softly. Spencer moaned into Morgan's mouth as he tightened his grip on the muscular form pressed against him. The timid, sensual sound rushed through Morgan, and it prompted him into grabbing Spencer's belt. He couldn't wait any longer. His fingers moved quickly to pull it from the loops of Spencer's pants and toss it away immediately. He moved his lips away from Spencer's and allowed his tongue to briefly taste Spencer's skin as he trailed kisses down the younger man's body. His hands, which were now unbottoning Spencer's pants, moved quickly to pull them off. Taking Spencer's boxers into his teeth, Morgan dragged them to the floor as his fingers sank into Spencer's hips and pulled them downward, causing Spencer to sit on the edge of the bed.

Morgan ran his fingers down from Spencer's hips onto his erection. Spencer gasped as Morgan's hand wrapped around it and began moving, slowly at first. As he stroked Spencer's member more quickly, Morgan allowed his tongue to run along Spencer's thighs, nibbling and sucking at the tender, sensitive flesh. With his hands still full of Morgan's shirt, Spencer seized the fabric violently when he felt his hard phallus become completely encompassed by the warm, wet mouth of Derek Morgan.

Spencer's breathing became erratic as he watched his shaft flow in and out of Morgan's mouth. While Morgan's lips slowly dragged along the surface of his erection, his tongue massaged it, savoring the taste of Spencer in his mouth. He glanced up at Spencer and was met with overwhelming desire at the sight of him. Spencer's pouty lips were open and he was breathing heavily through them. Sporatically, he'd moan and wimper. Spencer moved a hand to Morgan's neck and pulled it toward him as his hips began to move in unison with Morgan's mouth.

The instinctual movements of Spencer's hips caused Morgan's throbbing member to push his jeans to their limit. While Spencer moved, Morgan began unbottoning his pants. He slid them off slowly as he kept his focus on pleasuring Spencer. When he had taken his boxers off, he pulled away from Spencer, who wimpered at the loss, long enough to rip his shirt over his head. As he tossed it to the side, he immediately gripped Spencer's shaft lustfully and devoured it again. He moved more quickly as he stroked and sucked Spencer.

While Morgan's swollen, wet lips provided Spencer with the most gratifying sensation he'd ever experienced, it was ferosity with which Morgan was pleasuring him that sent him over the edge. Spencer moaned as he came into Morgan's mouth. He tightened his grip on the older man's bare body as he became aware of the fact that he'd just experienced his first orgasm.

Morgan pulled his head away from Spencer's groin and began to stand up. Spencer's hands flowed down from Morgan's shoulders nonchalantly, as he rose from his position on the floor. He let his fingertips take in Morgan's sculpted muscles which were draped in smooth, ebony skin. When Morgan had stood up completely, Spencer found his hands stopped on the older man's hips, his erection level with Spencer's mouth. Nervously, Spencer looked up at Morgan who grinned down at him.

"Now it's your turn, pretty boy."


	8. Eight

Eight

Although Spencer was nervous, the idea of tasting Derek Morgan was an exciting one, and it dominated any other feeling within him. He used his fingers to massage tiny circles around Morgan's hipbones as his eyes soaked in every inch of the muscluar body standing before him. Looking into Morgan's eyes, Spencer became more aware of the porcelain perfection that was Morgan's face. His flawless features, wrapped in silky ebony, came together in a way that both calmed Spencer's nerves and fed his darkest desires. As Morgan looked down on him with lustful intent, Spencer's eyes wandered from Morgan's face and landed on his perfectly defined chest. He watched it heave with anticipation and arousal and could feel his own growing more intense with each passing second. From his chest, Spencer's eyes flowed onto Morgan's immaculately chiseled abs which were draped in the finest silk he'd ever seen. When his eyes finally flowed down to Morgan's thick, erect member, Spencer could only imagine how it would feel in his hands and how amazing it would taste on his tongue. Briefly, he was worried that his lack of knowledge on the subject would prevent him from being able to please Morgan, but his lust quickly pushed all thoughts from his mind as it forced his body into action. Instintually, Spencer's right hand moved from Morgan's hip to his strong, stiff member and stroked it as he gazed up into Morgan's eyes. Morgan's breathing began to grow heavy as he watched the genius touch him. When Spencer moved his eyes from Morgan's and shifted them to his shaft, Morgan placed all of his focus on Spencer's mouth. That mouth that had captivated Morgan for so long, that mouth that Morgan spent 6 months distracting himself from, that mouth was getting closer and closer to his erection. The pouty, sultry lips of Dr. Spencer Reid were opening and Morgan could feel the warmth coming from them as they parted. He closed his eyes as he felt his member become completely enveloped in the wet, hot moisture of Spencer's mouth. He felt Spencer's lush lips close around his phallus and couldn't stop the moan in his throat from escaping.

As Spencer moved, he tried to remember the feeling of Morgan's mouth on his body. He tried to mimick the movements of Morgan's tongue. He wanted so desperately to please Morgan and to be the reason for Morgan's release. He wanted to remain focused on his movements, taking care to execute each of them properly, but he got lost in the irresistible taste of Derek Morgan and the errotic symphony of his heavy breathing. The more he stopped thinking about his actions and allowed his desire for Morgan to take control, the more Morgan groaned. While Morgan's moans were deep and sexual, they were somehow soft and alluring. Each one hit Spencer's groin with powerful intensity. He became more savage and took Morgan into his mouth more fiercely as the sounds that escaped the older agent's lips made his member throb. He moved his head more quickly and his tongue moved faster as he consumed every inch of Morgan's anatomy.

The ferocity that the young doctor displayed was intoxicating, and Morgan couldn't keep his eyes off of the smooth, sensual lips that were devouring his member. He watched in amazement as his shaft slid in and out of Spencer's mouth, his pouty, swollen lips dragging their wet heat along every inch of his manhood. Breathing uncontrollably, he moved his hand behind Spencer's head and wrapped his curls around his fingers. He held a fistful of the doctor's hair in his hands and tugged on it as Spencer savagely pleasured him.

While the overwhelming suction of Spencer's mouth was pushing Morgan to a faster climax than he'd ever experienced, the sounds of Morgan's deep, smooth groans and heavy breathing were pushing Spencer into his second for the night. As he stroked and sucked Morgan, he moved his free hand to his own member and began stroking it, keeping pace with the hand that was caressing Morgan. Pleasuring Derek Morgan was thrilling Spencer and he knew that he'd never be the same after this night with him.

Noticing Spencer's arousal pushed Morgan to his limit and he could feel his release approaching. Spencer was pleasuring himself to the taste of Morgan, to the feel of his lips surrounding Morgan's manhood, and this was a vision that sent Morgan over the edge. With dominance, he pulled Spencer's hair and panted heavily as he climaxed, watching the gorgeous mouth of Dr. Reid lap up every bit of it. The taste of Morgan's ecstasy threw Spencer into his own and he continued massaging Morgan in his mouth as he experienced the second orgasm of his life.

Not wanting to liberate Morgan from his mouth, Spencer whimpered at the disappearance when Morgan pulled away from him. Spencer breathed heavily as the older man leaned down and brushed his fingers along his cheek.

"Not too bad, pretty boy," Morgan whispered against Spencer's lips, "Now, slide back and lay down,"


	9. Nine

Nine

Spencer did as he was told, and Morgan revelled in his submissive consent. He watched Spencer edge himself back into the bed with caution. Although he kept his head down as he began to lie back, Spencer's eyes briefly looked up into Morgan's, awaiting signs of his approval. Gazing into Spencer's eyes, Morgan moved against the bed and drew his knee up to edge. As he brought his other knee up to match it, Morgan's hands decended onto the bed and landed on each side of Spencer's body. He kissed Spencer's hips lightly, then trailed them along his stomach. As Morgan's lips moved up Spencer's body, his hands crawled upward in search of the pillows that cradled Spencer's head. Still kissing Spencer's sensitive skin, Morgan pushed his knee between Spencer's legs, nudging them to open. When Spencer's legs began to part, Morgan brought his other knee between them. He continued to move his lips along Spencer's body and his hands followed them in their upward pursuit. Spencer breathed heavily both out of excitement and fear. He felt nervous participating in something he knew nothing about- he knew nothing of physical pleasure and he knew nothing of being unknowledgable. However, the reservations he felt paled in comparrison to the feeling of Morgan's body on top of his own. His worry and inexperience were overpowered by the feeling of Morgan's soft, moistened lips on his skin. When Morgan's lips found Spencer's neck, he took his time, allowing his tongue to periodically slip through his lips and taste Spencer. The sensation flowed through Spencer's body and throbbed through his member as it began to stiffen yet again. As Morgan kissed the soft skin on his neck and nibbled on it lightly, Spencer moved his hands to Morgan's back, digging his nails into the older man's skin.

Morgan growled at the pleasurably painful sensation of Spencer's scratches and he bit down more roughly on Spencer's neck. Spencer gasped, his writhing body aching for Morgan's. His hips bucked upward and his mouth begged Morgan for more. Each plea from the young doctor rushed through Morgan, pulsating through his member. Hungrily, Morgan took Spencer's lips into his own as his hand wandered down Spencer's body, and wrapped itself around his erection. As Morgan stroked it, he moved his lips from Spencer's.

"I need that mouth of yours again, pretty boy," he said through heavy breaths as he brushed the fingers from his free hand along Spencer's lips. "Get them nice and wet for me."

Confused, but completely submissive to Morgan's desires, Spencer drew his fingers into his mouth. While Morgan stroked him and licked his earlobes, Spencer sucked and massaged the fingers in his mouth feverishly, enjoying the taste of Morgan's skin. He moaned as the mixture of tasting Morgan and being touched by him sent shivers through his body, which was already trembling with needy fervor.

Morgan pulled his fingers from Spencer's mouth and replaced them with his lips. As he kissed Spencer deeply, he hoped that innocent Dr. Reid was ready for what he was about to do.

Morgan began to sit back and his lips pulled away from Spencer's. Still stroking Spencer's erection, he breathed, "This may feel uncomfortable at first," as he moved his wet fingers to Spencer's hole. Massaging it, he said, "but I promise," pushing one finger inside as Spencer winced slightly, "if you stick with me through this," circling it within Spencer's tight aperture, "you'll never experience anything better," adding a second finger into Spencer as his whimpers turned into faint moans, "than me inside of you."

Morgan watched Spencer's parted lips as he breathed heavily through them, his furrowed brow sitting atop tightly closed eyes. While Morgan wasn't seeing any clear indication of pleasure, he grew excited as he watched all signs of discomfort leave Spencer's face. As he dilated Spencer's taut opening, Morgan allowed his fingers to brush along his prostate briefly. The fleeting sensation sent shockwaves through Spencer's body and a lustful moan escaped his lips, his hands seizing the sheets of his bed tightly.

Morgan could see the pleasure rush through Spencer's face and was exhilarated by the sounds of it dripping from lips. He removed his other hand from Spencer's shaft. Bringing it to his lips, he could taste Spencer as he rushed his tongue over it. Adding a third finger into Spencer, he used his moistened hand to massage himself. As he continued to stretch Spencer, he brought his hand back for more moisture to give to his hardened member. When he had enough lubrication to rub himself smoothly, he removed his fingers from Spencer. Lying back down against Spencer's body, he positioned his phallus at Spencer's entrance. Kissing him passionately, Morgan asked, "Are you ready?"

Between lustful kisses Spencer breathed, "Absolutely."

As he kissed Spencer deeply, Morgan began pushing his thick, erect member into Spencer's tight, heated opening. He massaged Spencer's tongue with his own and brushed his fingers through Spencer's hair, trying to provide the younger man with as much pleasure as he could until the discomfort vanished completely.

When he felt Spencer whince momentarily, he asked, "You ok, Reid?"

Breathing heavily, Spencer opened his eyes and gazed into Morgan's. Morgan's eyes were lustful and commanding while being remarkably tender, and they filled him with comfort. Unable to imagine a more compassionate or protective man to entrust with his body, Spencer softly said, "Keep going, Morgan, please."

While Spencer was struggling to hide the vulnerability in his voice, Morgan recongized a separate tone when the young doctor pronounced his name. The first words of Spencer's plea were weak and unsteady, but when Spencer said his name, he expressed it with conviction; His voice was unshaken for the fleeting second in which he spoke the word. Morgan allowed his memory to surface briefly and replayed the way Spencer said his name in the field. He remembered how it sounded on the young agent's lips after Morgan pulled him from the burning complex of Benjamin Cyrus' cult, and the way Spencer said it after Morgan tackled him to the ground, out of the line of fire of an L.D.S.K. Spencer had trusted Morgan with his life, and here, right now, in Spencer's bed, Morgan heard his name pronounced with the same certainty, saftey, and conviction. Morgan knew that Spencer trusted him. He trusted him to be his protector, and Morgan took a secret oath to make sure he lived up to that role. As Morgan realized how much he meant to Spencer, Spencer nervously massaged circles onto Morgan's shoulders, waiting for him to react, to move, or to speak. Instead, Morgan's lips reclaimed Spencer's and he pushed his stiffened shaft the rest of the way into Spencer. He moaned into Spencer's mouth as he slowly pulled back, the narrow hole encompassing his erection in heated bliss. As he moved back inward, Spencer moaned into his lips, and Morgan took the opportunity to drag his teeth along his soft, pouty, lower lip.

As Morgan's pace began to quicken, Spencer's hand glided from his shoulder to his bicep where, in a frenzy, his nails sank into the muscle as it buldged with each of Morgan's movements. His other hand seized Morgan's neck and held onto it in desperation. He moaned in pure ecstasy as Morgan's hardened shaft rushed in and out of him. He could feel himself surrounding Morgan, being filled up by Morgan, and he wanted to take even more of Morgan in. Spencer bit Morgan's lips, pushed his tongue through them, and massaged Morgan's frantically. The physical awakening Spencer was experiencing had awakened new senses within his mind, and he could feel his innocence fragmenting away with each and every thrust.

Noticing Spencer's heightened appetite for him, Morgan deepened his movements and his member began to stimulate Spencer's prostate. The surge of frenzied euphoria cascaded through Spencer causing a delicate scream to glide through his lips.

Feeling completion nearing, Spencer's hunger for Morgan grew even more severe. He pulled Morgan closer to into him and dragged his teeth along the senstive skin on Morgan's neck. Spencer moaned into Morgan's flesh as he bit down, and it created a mixture of touch and sound that prompted Morgan to moan in response. He reached for Spencer's member and stroked it as his own stroked the doctor's prostate.

Breathing heavily, scratching his nails along the older man's skin, and shaking uncontrollably, Spencer screamed Morgan's name as he reached his climax. The sight of it was overwhelming to Morgan. Spencer's swollen lips parted as sensual moans flowed from them, his chest heaved, and his back arched as beads of sweat moistened the curls falling over his eyes. The sight of Spencer's orgasm had triggered Morgan's. He pulled the younger man's hair violently, causing his head to shift to one side. The delicate flesh of Spencer's neck exposed, Morgan bit down on it and drew it into his mouth, groaning softly as he finished inside of Spencer.

Trying to calm his erratic breathing, Morgan slowly brought his lips to Spencer's and kissed him devotedly. He released himself from Spencer who winced at the friction, his aperture becoming more tender as the thralls of pleasure subsided.

Morgan rolled on his side and laid next to Spencer. He tucked a moistened tendril of Spencer's hair behind his ear and brushed his fingers along Spencer's cheek. They made their way to Spencer's lips- those captivating lips- and, as they brushed over them tenderly, Morgan realized that he'd never seen anything more beautiful than Dr. Spencer Reid.


	10. Ten

Ten

Spencer never felt so vulnerable. Laying next to Morgan, gazing into his eyes, Spencer felt like he was seeing his entire world for the first time. The sheets of his bed never felt softer, the cool breeze that came through the window never felt more refreshing, and Morgan's presence had never made him feel so alive. These new feelings rushed through Spencer with intensity and laying next to the man who had awakened them felt like paradise. Though he didn't know what would happen from here or what he should do, Spencer knew exactly what he wanted to happen. He wanted Morgan to lie there with him all night. He wanted Morgan to hold him and to kiss him again. But this time, when Morgan kissed him, he wanted it to be because Morgan cared about him and because Morgan wanted to be with Spencer as badly as Spencer wanted to be with Morgan. As he wondered what most people did after a night of intimacy, a realization hit Spencer that shook his nerves. Morgan wasn't most people. Morgan wasn't someone he'd just met and he didn't need time to predict his actions. Spencer's heart began to race as he remembered asking Morgan, during Lila Archer's case years ago, if he'd ever wanted to spend more than just one night with the same woman. Saddened, he realized that he's known Morgan for 10 years but can only think of one, maybe two, actual girlfriends. He knew Morgan, and Morgan wasn't the type of guy who spent more than one night with the same person, and he wasn't the type of guy to commit. Even if he'd suddenly become that kind of guy, history suggests that he'd settle down with a woman.

As Spencer's mind raced, Morgan got out of the bed and put his boxers on. When he left the room, Spencer's worry completely encompassed him. Somehow, during the kisses, tastes, and touches, Spencer hadn't once considered what would happen when Morgan left his apartment and went home. Truthfully, he never imagined he'd actually have the opportunity to be intimate with Morgan, so naturally he never thought about how he'd feel when Morgan left him afterward. Staring at the empty doorway, Spencer wondered if Morgan would say anything before he left or if he'd just grab his keys and leave. He started wondering if Morgan would call him the next day or if he'd just see him at work on Monday, and became even more nervous considering what work may be like now. Would Morgan be more affectionate with him? Would they talk about it? Would Morgan set clear definition to what their relationship would be? Or would he simply pretend that nothing ever happend? The amount of unknowns sent his mind into a dangerous tailspin, and just as Spencer's emotions were starting to get the better of him, convinced that the older agent had simply used him and left, Morgan reappeared in the bedroom doorway, holding a dampened cloth as he walked toward the bed.

"I caught a glimpse of where the bathroom was when I walked in earlier." he said as he sat back down on the bed next to Spencer. Morgan brought the cloth to Spencer's stomach and used it to wipe away the physical manifestation of his climax.

"I figured you'd be too tired for a shower, but I can't just let you sit here a mess, pretty boy." As Morgan spoke, he looked down at Spencer devotedly. Even though he had a rough exterior, Morgan's smile was always so warm and inviting. Though he had the typical air of an alpha male- confident, assertive, dominant, sometimes even a bit aggressive- anyone who met Morgan could tell right away that he was a genuinely good man, and Spencer never realized until now that maybe that was why he always felt so at ease around Morgan.

As Spencer looked up at him nervously, a sense of euphoria washed over Morgan. As he tried to search his memory for the same post-coital bliss, Morgan realized how his experienced past contrasted the innocence of Spencer's. Morgan was a ladies' man. He always had been. No matter who he wanted, his charisma and stunning features guarenteed that he'd get them. When Morgan began experimenting with men in college, he found that those traits created the same desire in men as they had in women. At this point in his life, Morgan could have anyone he wanted, male or female, so when he decided that he wanted Dr. Spencer Reid for the evening, expecting anything less than getting him was unheard of.

While he'd anticipated quite a bit- touching Spencer, tasting Spencer, finding release in his body- Morgan ended up getting a lot more out of tonight's events than he'd expected. In all of these years, all of these people, countless nights of unimaginable pleasure, Morgan had never looked at someone the way he was looking at Spencer right now. Typically, Morgan didn't look at someone he'd just satisfied. Typically, Morgan just put his clothes on and left. But for some reason, he felt compelled to stay with Spencer. He wanted to remain close to him. Even though he'd already gotten Spencer, Morgan's desire for him burned with great intensity. No one ever seemed as appealing to Morgan after he had them and Morgan just had Spencer no more than five minutes ago. He didn't understand how, but Spencer seemed even more appealing after he'd attained his body

"I, um, I never realized it was so messy," Spencer spoke nervously, wanting to break the silence as Morgan cleaned him. Tonight, when Spencer spoke, no matter what he said, Morgan heard a symphony. When he touched him, he felt bliss. Morgan desperately wanted to lie back down with Spencer and hold him. He wanted to fall asleep with Spencer tonight and wake up next to Spencer in the morning. He wanted to be what Spencer needed and he knew that Spencer needed someone loyal, someone faithful, someone he would never have to worry about. Spencer needed someone loving, someone sensitive, someone who could bring their guard down. Morgan felt that he could be everything Spencer needed him to be. Morgan felt like he could committ, he thought for sure that he could be faithful, he told himself that he'd let his walls down. But looking into Spencer's deep, vulnerable eyes, Morgan was afraid that he'd try to be that guy and fail. He thought back to the promise he made himself just as he was entering Spencer's body- Morgan swore that he'd never do anything to hurt him. Morgan swore that he'd always be Spencer's protector, and he knew exactly how he'd have to protect him now.

"Pretty boy," unable to look in Spencer's eyes, he turned his head slightly as he spoke. "You know, when I get with someone, I usually just leave..."


	11. Eleven

Eleven

"It's ok, Morgan," Spencer lied as he interrupted him. He already figured Morgan was leaving him and he didn't need some embarrassing speech on top of it. If he knew anything about Morgan it was that he didn't have to feel something for the people he became intimate with and he should have known that Morgan wasn't going to make any exceptions for him.

"What's ok?" Morgan questioned, unsure if Spencer understood what he was about to say.

"You leaving." Spencer stood as he spoke. His eyes briefly searched the room for his boxers, and he slid them back on when he found them. Morgan watched him in silence, saddened that he was losing sight of Spencer's body. Following Spencer, Morgan stood and grabbed his jeans. As he pulled them on, he had to admit, he felt a little unnerved that Spencer was ok with him leaving. While he was happy that he wasn't upsetting Spencer, he felt rejected and told himself that he'd been stupid for thinking that the genius valued his presence enough to be hurt by his absence.

While Morgan's mind wandered, Spencer tried not to look at him. When he saw Morgan grabbing his jeans, Spencer felt his eyes begin to moisten and didn't want Morgan to know how upsetting it was to watch him prepare to leave. While trying to hide his eyes, Spencer moved to his dresser, pulled sweat pants from the drawer, and put them on. When he slipped a t-shirt over his head, he took the occasion to secretly wipe away a tear that had formed in his doleful brown eyes.

"I'll, um, I'll walk you out." he said looking at the floor as he rushed through the bedroom door, still trying to hide the tears that welled up each time he spoke. As he approached the door of his apartment, Spencer wondered how most people handled this. He thought about the number of times he'd overheard Morgan talking about a "good time". He thought about how many people had been in the same position he was now in. He wondered if any of them wanted Morgan to stay and if they'd been as heartbroken as Spencer was now when they realized that he wasn't going to.

"You know, kid, if you want me to go, I'll go," Morgan said as he reached for the door, "But if you want me to stay..."

Shyly, Spencer looked up at him. "Y-you don't have to. It's ok." While Spencer's lips lied, his eyes were unable to, and Morgan could see torrent streams growing within them.

"Reid," he said tenderly, "if you want me to stay,"

Spencer couldn't look at him, much less answer his presumption. He mistook Morgan's inability to walk out the door for arrogance. As if it wasn't hurtful enough to take his virginity and leave, now Morgan wanted Spencer to ask him to stay, to admit that he wanted something that clearly wasn't reciprocated. It felt belittling, but what felt worse was the fact that it came from his best friend, from someone he trusted. Spencer always thought Morgan looked out for him, protected him, and now he felt like Morgan was turning his feelings into a joke. While Spencer's feelings had been even further hurt, he began to grow irritated at the seemingly smug, condescending comments.

"I don't want you to," Spencer whispered as the pain he felt mixed with anger. "You don't have to patronize me."

"I wasn't," Morgan said calmly. While Morgan fully intended on leaving Spencer tonight, the act itself seemed quite hard to accomplish. Usually having the other person's consent on the matter made leaving even easier, but when Morgan made it to the door, he couldn't open it. When Spencer told him to leave, he protested. The only reason Morgan wanted to leave was to protect Spencer's feelings, but looking at him now, Morgan felt like he was already failing, and he couldn't stand to see saddness in Spencer's eyes.

"Look, kid, we both know committment isn't my thing, right?" Morgan started.

"I said it's fine, Morgan, really." Spencer interjected, trying to hide how upset he was.

Morgan's lips formed a playful smile as he said, "You know, pretty boy, I'm gettin' a little tired of you interrupting me tonight." He stepped closer to Spencer and looked into his eyes devotedly. "Committment isn't usually my thing. But if you want me to stay, I'll stay."

Spencer crossed his arms and kept his eyes on the ground, hoping to hide them from Morgan. When a faint tear that had formed in his eye began to fall, Morgan reached his hand to Spencer's check and used his thumb to brush it away delicately.

"Pretty boy," Morgan exhaled, unsure of what he was about to say. "I don't know if I can be the guy you need. I know how to have a good time, I know how to have fun, and I know how to leave. I don't really know how to stay. It's just not something I've ever really done much. But what I was gonna say earlier is that when I get with someone I usually just leave, but I don't want to leave you tonight."

Shocked, Spencer's watery eyes, which had been avoiding Morgan's, looked directly into them. Morgan's face was serious and his eyes were sincere, but Spencer had experienced so many new emotions in the last 24 hours that he wasn't sure exactly what to think or feel or believe.

With his hand still on brushing Spencer's skin softly, Morgan continued, "You've known me a long time, man, and you know what I'm about, so I was going to ask you, knowing full well who I am and what I do, if you wanted me to stay. I told myself that leaving you now was the best thing I could do for you, that I needed to leave you now to protect you later. I told myself I'm not the right kinda guy for you, and I still feel like that may be true, but walking out your door is one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do. I'm still standing here, Reid. And like I said, if you want me to go, I'll go. But that doesn't mean it's what I want to do."

Stunned, Spencer questioned, "You don't want to leave?" afraid that he misunderstood.

"No, I don't." Morgan said, feeling a little apprehensive. "All I want to do is protect you, Spencer, and staying may not be the best way to do that, but I can't just walk away from you. You know me. You know the risk. So I need to know, do you want me to stay with you tonight or do you want me to leave?"


	12. Twelve

Twelve

Spencer had never considered the risk. Instinctually, Spencer typically weighed the pros and cons of every situation without pause, but the attention he was forced into giving his emotions all day overpowered his instinct to analyze. Spencer wanted Morgan and he wanted him to stay with him, but he agreed with Morgan and was afrai that having him stay could be the easiest way to get hurt in long run.

Spencer tried to reason that this was his shot at happiness- he cared for Morgan and to turn him away out of fear may be missing the chance of experiencing something amazing. He also had to admit that this was a shot at normalcy- to have what he never could experience because he had an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory. But the thought of Morgan making him happy seemed silly. Morgan, the ladies man, would never want to stay with him, not beyond a couple of nights. Even if Morgan chose to, Spencer knew he wouldn't actually be happy doing it. Spencer knew that Morgan enjoyed clubbing, dancing, flirting, and that his outgoing personality would never allow him to be happy staying in with Spencer reading or watching Dr. Who night after night.

"Why would you want to stay with me, Morgan?" Spencer asked, trying to gather evidence to process through his thoughts. "You've had plenty of opportunities to stay with a seemingly endless amount of people. Why would you leave them and not me?"

"I don't know, kid." Morgan said. He planned on leaving it at just that, but he could see the blantant dissatisfaction that Spencer wore on his face. Morgan brushed his fingers along Spencer's cheeks. He looked him directly in the eyes. He wanted to say so much more than actually did. He wanted to tell Spencer that he felt something for him, that he felt something every time he watched Spencer's lips, that those lips rambling on about some nerdy tv show were the entire reason he wanted to go to the bar. He just wanted an excuse to be near Spencer and now that he was close, he didn't want to let go. He just couldn't get his lips to form the words. Morgan spent too many years building a wall. He had no idea how to be vulnerable and, when it came to love and the like, he had no idea how to express his emotions.

"I'm sorry if that's not a good enough answer, Reid."

Spencer's eyebrow raised as Morgan spoke his name. The genius missed nothing. A moment ago Morgan called him Spencer. It felt more personal, more intimate. It felt like maybe Morgan was letting his walls down and that maybe he'd consider letting Spencer in. Spencer asked one question and all of that went out the window. Spencer asked one question and now he was back to Reid.

"Derek," Spencer said, testing the theory in his mind as he gazed at Morgan through suspecting eyes.

"Yeah, pretty boy?" Morgan said intrigued at the way his first name sounded as it flowed through Spencer's lips.

Spencer could see the change in Morgan's expression. "Derek, I-" He was interrupted by Morgan's lips. The way Spencer said his name in the field, the way it sounded when Spencer thanked him for saving his life, the way it was delivered when Spencer trusted him with his body, none of it compare to the way Spencer vocalized his first name. As Spencer's pouty lips formed the word, his voice was full of the same conviction and trust, but it was adorned with warmth and want.

As Morgan kissed Spencer, he ran his fingers through his hair. Spencer grabbed the sleeves of Morgan's shirt and used fistfuls of the fabric to pull Morgan into him. Spencer was reminded of their first kiss, here in this same room earlier in the evening. Just as Morgan's lips pulled him from his thoughts then, Spencer was too lost in Morgan's body to be bothered by thoughts of doubt. The ferousity with which Spencer kissed him and held onto him allowed Morgan to feel the yearning Spencer carried for him. Morgan held him tightly as he kissed him, hoping to express physically what he couldn't say verbally.

Breaking away from Morgan, Spencer didn't need to analyze the situation. He didn't need to make a decison based on statistics of Morgan's past. He didn't worry himself with what the future may bring.

"Derek," Spencer tried for the third time, "I want you to stay."


	13. Thirteen

Thirteen

Falling from Spencer's lips effortlessly, the words passed through Morgan's ears like a symphony. Spencer's affirmation washed over him and the sound of it spilling over his perfectly pouty lips flowed through his veins and flooded his body. He pushed his lips back onto Spencer's, holding his waist and pulling him against his body. Holding him tightly, Morgan hoped Spencer would feel safe in his arms. Morgan hoped Spencer would feel secure and comfortable. Hoping to be the protector he swore he would be, Morgan wanted to take care of Spencer in the field as well as out of it. He wanted to make sure that Spencer never worried, that nothing ever troubled him, and that he remained as happy and content as he was with Morgan in his bedroom. While he never would have imagined feeling something so intense for Spencer, Morgan was more than willing to explore it and welcome any growth of their already evolving friendship with open arms.

Spencer held Morgan's neck with one hand as the fingers of his other trailed down Morgan's back. When he felt Morgan pull him in closer, Spencer moaned slightly in his throat as he firmed his grasp on the older man. Earlier today, Spencer discovered that he felt something for Morgan. Moments later he was able to give his newfound feeling definition. Hours later he was alone with Morgan. A few moments later, Spencer was experiencing physical love with him. He went through want, desire, and lust. He was afraid, worried, and nervous. Now, he was kissing Morgan, at ease with their physical connection, and overjoyed at the prospects that laid ahead of him.

Even though he had an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187, Spencer learned a lot in the last 24 hours. He learned that there was an entire aspect of life that he knew nothing about. He was learning that everything isn't an experiment, that he can't learn everything through research and reading. He was learning that some of the best things in life reject reason and that sometimes the odds are set against those best things. Spencer was learning that he can't always listen to his mind; He was learning that he should listen to his body when it talks to him through erratic breaths and heart beats. Spencer learned to trust his instincts, and they were telling him to have faith in Morgan.

Speaking softly as he tucked Spencer's hair behind his ear, Morgan broke their kiss, flashed his tradmark smile, and said, "Let's get to bed, Pretty Boy."


End file.
